Why decluttering is essential for Body Love
By the time we are adults we have taken on board beliefs, habits, and self-perceptions that were instilled in us from birth, especially as women or gender-diverse people. We have been told that we need to be a specific size to be attractive and healthy. That being healthy is a way to be valued. That we need to be busy and productive to be worthy. We’ve probably bought lots of diet culture and productivity paraphernalia over the years. So, it’s no wonder that by the time we hit 40, we are exhausted and in need of a big dose of Body Love.
That’s why the second step in my Body Love Method is decluttering.
By the time we are ready to welcome Body Love into our lives, we are probably ready to let go of physical, mental, and energetic baggage. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
As the supreme declutterer, Marie Kondo says, “But when we really delve into the reasons why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past, or a fear for the future.”
Letting go of the past might mean letting go of the dream of getting back to the weight you were when you were younger, or throwing out the jeans you were hoping to get back into. It might also mean letting go of relationships that are holding us back like friends who only talk about their body size or the diet they are on, or people who put us down leading to binge eating through our feelings.
Fear of the future might manifest itself as being worried about no longer having excuses not to go for the big dreams (a lot of women tell themselves they need to lose weight before they can do something they really want). Or that you might not be healthy enough if you don’t lose weight (and this simply isn’t true if you exercise, eat well, and get enough sleep).
Removing these physical or emotional barriers to Body Love is essential so here are the 3 different types of decluttering and how to do them:
1. Physical decluttering
Now is the time to get rid of the old diet books, clothes that don’t fit, the “super” foods you bought that you actually hate, and anything else that you can see that makes you feel bad about your body. Ask yourself if that photo of you from 20 years ago that’s on the fridge is really inspiring or if it just makes you feel like shit? All this stuff is just a reminder of all the pain you’ve been through to try and look the way nature never intended you to look so it makes sense to get rid of it. Plus, there is a study by Vartarian et al (2017) that shows that people are more likely to choose cookies and candy as a snack rather than a healthier option if they live in a chaotic and cluttered environment which makes them feel stressed. There are lots of ways to declutter physical environments. You could try Marie Kondo’s Spark Joy Method, or just set a timer for 10 minutes a day and get busy, or challenge a friend to the Minimalism game
2. Mental decluttering
This relates to all the stuff that’s going on in your mind. The to-do lists, the negative self-talk, planning for the future, worrying about the past. We have tens of thousands of thoughts a day and most of them are repeated the next day and the day after that. These repeated thoughts can become beliefs about ourselves and the world around us and can derail our self-confidence. The biggest influences on our mental clutter are hustle culture, health and wellness culture, and social media. We live in a world that values productivity. It’s common to answer “busy” when someone asks you how you are. It’s a badge of honour to be busy. But of course, that can weigh us down with never having time to rest.
We also live in a world that values health (read thinness). If we manage to get time off from our to-do lists, it can feel like we should spend all our spare time getting healthy. And to reinforce both hustle and wellness culture, we are surrounded by social media telling us that we still haven’t done enough, because look at what everyone else is doing!
I have a couple of tips to help reduce mental clutter. The first one is journaling. I know I know; it sounds like I am adding to your already long list of things to do. But I find that writing things down helps me to get the mental clutter out of my head. Then I don’t have to think about it anymore. This can be as simple as a daily to-do list so that you are doing the things you really want to do (that relate to your intentions) and not all the stuff that you think you should be doing. I also love a very quick journaling session at night. I write about a paragraph to summarise the day or jot down something to remember for the morning. Then I don’t have to think about it all night too and my sleep is better for it.
The second tip for mental decluttering is to do a social media declutter. Aim to unfollow at least one account that makes you feel bad about yourself every day for a week. They might make you feel bad about not being productive enough, rich enough, skinny enough, or healthy enough. The more of these accounts you unfollow, the more you’ll see things on social media that make you feel good. And if you haven’t already, you can follow me here.
3. Energetic decluttering
This is the really deep stuff. These are the beliefs we have been carrying around for most of our lives. Beliefs like – I am not attractive/smart/worthy, I have to be thin to be healthy/lovable, I am not good enough to try (insert something you’ve always wanted to do), I’m always (this), or I’ll never be (that). These are internal beliefs that either support our behaviours that aren’t kind and loving to ourselves or hold us back from doing the things that we really want. Reducing or eradicating these beliefs can be truly life changing.
Some of the ways to declutter these beliefs are through energy healing practices like reiki or Emotional Freedom Technique, by getting counselling or coaching, or even by creating new relationships with like-minded people. Personally, it was when I attended my first reiki practitioner training that my thoughts and beliefs about my body started to change. I began to realise that I am a worthy person no matter my size, shape, age or anything else, and it was the impetus to a completely new way of life.
But as Marie Kondo reminded us, decluttering is hard. It’s difficult to let go of objects, ideas, and beliefs we’ve had for a really long time. But I promise you, removing these obstacles from your life can help you change your attitude toward your body and your self-esteem almost overnight.
If you would like some support, consider booking a free 15-minute session with me to see if coaching with me is right for you. Click here to book.
Read More about Body Love
Revolutionise Your Relationship with Your Body: The Power of The Body Love Method
Setting an intention for Body Love – the essential first step
3 reasons why I’m doing a 365 days of yoga challenge
3 ways your body image was ruined by diet culture in the 1990s & 2000s