Module 4.

Week 4 Healthy Habit

This is an incredible quote from Dr Libby Weaver’s book Rushing Women’s Syndrome and I think it is a great way to introduce the topic of self-care.

“If you put a frog in cool water it swims around very happily. If you put a frog in boiling water it immediately jumps out to save itself. But if you put a frog in cool water and slowly bring that water the boil, the frog doesn’t notice and it doesn’t jump out.

I believe that most people in the Western world would jump out of the pressure in their lives if they were suddenly thrown into it. But we don’t jump out when it gradually increases over the years. We don’t tend to notice until a crisis hits… the death of someone we love or our own health crashes. Don’t let it take a health crisis to wake up to the fact that without your health you have nothing. If you recognise that you are like a frog whose world has been on the boil, act now to change it.”

Too often women only take the time to “do nothing” when they are so exhausted that they have no real option. Does that describe you?

Do you feel guilty when you take time out for yourself? Are you constantly saying yes to things and then later resenting the fact that you did?

This is quite a deep notion… but some might say that the reason we don’t take the time out for ourselves and the reason we are always so busy is a fear of rejection. Wow, that was full on, wasn’t it?

Spend a few moments right now thinking about the reason(s) why you haven’t taken time out for yourself lately… I imagine the over-riding reason is “I don’t have time”. But let me ask you this… if a loved one rushed into the room right now and said, “Help me! I’ve cut off my finger!” you would find the time to help them, right? Of course, in that moment you would prioritise the time to take them to the hospital, no matter how long it took or what else was going on.

So, in reality, time is not an issue. Your time can be used in whatever way you choose. Yes, really. You are a grown woman and you get to choose how to spend your time! I bet the real reason you don’t have time is that you have made commitments to other people (family, friends, work etc.). And why did you do that? Perhaps it’s a fear of rejection. A caveat to this is when you have small children. This makes managing your own time a lot harder. But don’t allow a few years of child-rearing cement bad self-care habits for life.

Yes, I said it was getting deep!

Now let me tell you about why timeout is so important. We have many complicated biological systems going on in our bodies at all times whether we realise it or not. One of those systems is our nervous system. There are many parts to the nervous system and the one I want to talk about now is the autonomic nervous system. This is the part of the nervous system that is out of our control (it regulates things like heartbeat, growing hair etc.). This system has 2 parts, the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system is our fight or flight mode and the parasympathetic nervous system is our rest and digest mode.

We spend a lot of time in fight or flight mode.  We are constantly switched on, solving problems, fighting traffic, drinking coffee to keep alert and drinking wine to calm down. All of these things mean our bodies are constantly stressed. It means we have less time for rest and digest. Which can lead to weight gain, sugar cravings, inability to sleep and a feeling of being tired but wired. If we can balance out these systems our bodies will run more efficiently – better sleep, better digestion & weight loss, fewer cravings, more energy and a decreased chance of stress-related disease.

Sounds good right?

So, my recommendation is to slow down when you can. Reprogram that fear of being rejected and prioritise time to yourself. It is a cyclic effect. If you look after yourself more, you will feel stronger and then you are less likely to worry about rejection which means you will look after yourself more.

How can you get started?

Schedule in 3 times week 10 minutes of “you-time”. And make a point of getting some alone time where possible. Once you’ve nailed that add 5 minutes every week until you are getting a good 3 hours a week for yourself. Because you know you deserve it!

How can you spend this time?

I would choose very gentle pursuits. Turn off the phone. Read a book. Have a nap. Do some tai chi or gentle yoga. Meditate. Breath. Walk on the beach. Look at some old photo albums. Sing. Sway to some music. Cook a simple meal. Drink herbal tea from a beautiful cup and saucer. Write a letter to a long-lost friend. Journal. Write down 3 things you are grateful for. Put your bare feet on grass. Daydream.

Recommended Reading: Rushing Women’s Syndrome by Dr Libby Weaver.